i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
