I look better un-naked...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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