I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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