Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
