Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
