the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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