I'll bet she douches with gravy.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Found your dick twin last night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
