I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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