farters have to be the big spoon...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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