Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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