Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
