life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
