its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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