dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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