Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
