Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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