that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
