I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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