I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
