And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
