My Higher Power is John Stamos
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
