i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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