All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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