He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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