but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
