We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
