Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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