It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
