i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
