THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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