i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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