IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
