After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Quick, to the slutcave!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
