hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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