how can u be prego again
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
