oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
