I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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