OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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