And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
