i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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