Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
