so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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