Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
