I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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