So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
