i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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