Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
