It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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