i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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