Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
