what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
