Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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