am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
