member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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